By:Pamela Gould
The Free Lance-Star
At 6 feet 1 inch and 300 pounds ,Matthew Shepherd is impossible to miss in the Jan 11 attack on two teens that was captured on a cell phone video.His attorney immediately wanted one fact clear: his client wore flip flops. Shepherd,19, is seen in the video throwing multiple punches and kicking one of the victims who is one the ground and under attack from several other teens.Longtin testified yesturday that he threw one punch at one of the victims to protect a friend but then backed away when he saw things getting out of control.
shanice toney
Sunday, September 27, 2009
Saturday, September 26, 2009
Nursing home team gives dogs a fair shot—September 25, 2009—By: Edie Gross
Nursing home team gives dogs a fair shot—September 25, 2009—By: Edie Gross
Summary: The Fancy Friends 4-H dog club brought their dogs to the Heritage Hall last Saturday to prepare them for tomorrow’s competition. One of their members uses a motorized wheelchair and to get their dogs to used to being around these wheelchairs, they brought their dogs to the Heritage Hall to work alongside the residents in motorized wheelchairs for the day.
Critic: The article uses numerous quotes but many aren’t inside quotation marks, which makes it difficult to tell what is quote and what isn’t. It also leaves the reader questioning whether the non-quotation marked quotes are accurate as some quotes are contained within quotation marks. The paragraph length also changes, with paragraphs on the first page being mostly one sentence paragraphs and ones on the inside averaging two to three sentences each. The author’s phraseology could use some work as sentences are constantly bouncing all over the place, interrupting the flow.
--Becky Walker
Friday, September 25, 2009
BEATINGS
Title: Two more jailed in Spotsy teen beating
Author: Pamela Gould
Date: Friday, September 25, 2009
Summary:
Two teens involved in a Spotsy teen beating recorded on camera are sentenced and jailed. Part of their sentence involves paying 1/9th of a part of the medical bills for the brain damage the victim had taken. A total of nine people were involved in this beating, and according to one of the arrested men, after the first punch which seemed joke-like, everything went out of control.
Critique:
The article put a chart of quotes and what sentence the arrested men were sentenced to, so basically the entire article is summarized in this one chart. Possibly, the person should have just used the chart, or added more information that was not on the chart. The chart seems awkwardly placed, though, and there is no picture pertaining to the article on the front page, and it is the first story on the first page so you would think you would have a picture.
Author: Pamela Gould
Date: Friday, September 25, 2009
Summary:
Two teens involved in a Spotsy teen beating recorded on camera are sentenced and jailed. Part of their sentence involves paying 1/9th of a part of the medical bills for the brain damage the victim had taken. A total of nine people were involved in this beating, and according to one of the arrested men, after the first punch which seemed joke-like, everything went out of control.
Critique:
The article put a chart of quotes and what sentence the arrested men were sentenced to, so basically the entire article is summarized in this one chart. Possibly, the person should have just used the chart, or added more information that was not on the chart. The chart seems awkwardly placed, though, and there is no picture pertaining to the article on the front page, and it is the first story on the first page so you would think you would have a picture.
Swine flu Vaccine Alexis Brana
HHS: Swine flu vaccine arrives in 2 weeks
September 25, 2009
By the Associated Press
More swine flu vaccine will be available soon. Most of it will be in the nasal spray form, called FluMist. After that the shots will be more available. The government wants people to get the vaccine if they can. Healthy people should get the nasal spray and unhealthy people should get the shot. The vaccine will be free because the government paid for it but some companies might charge a fee for administering the shot.
This article is very informal and uses commonplace words. The language of the article is very informative and states the purpose upfront. The article could have been placed in a better location because where it is currently place is hard to find.
September 25, 2009
By the Associated Press
More swine flu vaccine will be available soon. Most of it will be in the nasal spray form, called FluMist. After that the shots will be more available. The government wants people to get the vaccine if they can. Healthy people should get the nasal spray and unhealthy people should get the shot. The vaccine will be free because the government paid for it but some companies might charge a fee for administering the shot.
This article is very informal and uses commonplace words. The language of the article is very informative and states the purpose upfront. The article could have been placed in a better location because where it is currently place is hard to find.
Murder trial gets under way for a second time—September 10, 2009—by Keith Epps
Murder trial gets under way for a second time—September 10, 2009—by Keith Epps
This article explains about how Toronto Eura's second trial began the previous day after a mistrial in June due to an impartial juror. It also explains his charge of first degree murder for killing Jamiar Ellis over a woman. The article itself is small, but long enough to necessitate a continuation onto the back page. Each sentence is its own paragraph, which gives the article an appealing appearance. The article flows in a logical manner, from starting with the current news of the start of Eura's second trial, to why he needed a new trial, to what's happening so far in this trail, to the case itself. However, it says that Eura's first judge was Judge Gordon Willis and the person who positively identified Eura as the killer is a Jeffrey Willis, with no mention of whether they're related or not. It also concludes with a statement about heavy security at the city courthouse, as it was at the first trial, a seemingly random statement as security was mentioned no where else in the entire article.
Becky Walker
(Note, I sent this in an email last week when I couldn't get in the blog. Sorry for the lateness of reposting)
This article explains about how Toronto Eura's second trial began the previous day after a mistrial in June due to an impartial juror. It also explains his charge of first degree murder for killing Jamiar Ellis over a woman. The article itself is small, but long enough to necessitate a continuation onto the back page. Each sentence is its own paragraph, which gives the article an appealing appearance. The article flows in a logical manner, from starting with the current news of the start of Eura's second trial, to why he needed a new trial, to what's happening so far in this trail, to the case itself. However, it says that Eura's first judge was Judge Gordon Willis and the person who positively identified Eura as the killer is a Jeffrey Willis, with no mention of whether they're related or not. It also concludes with a statement about heavy security at the city courthouse, as it was at the first trial, a seemingly random statement as security was mentioned no where else in the entire article.
Becky Walker
(Note, I sent this in an email last week when I couldn't get in the blog. Sorry for the lateness of reposting)
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
king George draws the line on students
Sherrin Bullet considers herself a King George resident,even though she pays real-estate in neighbooring Westmoreland County. Since October 2005, she and husband,Stephen,have lived in a house on Trigger lane,just over the Westmoreland line.The King George School Board voted a year ago in August not to admit students who live on Trigger Lane starting this academic year, unless they've completed at least one year at the high school.The decision affected 10 students,a school offical said yesturday.Bullet said she thought the issuse would "blow over" and she'd be able to send her twins to King George Elementary this year. In fact, she said, she would have purchase the house on Trigger Lane had she known her childern couldn't attend King George schools.
By: Jeff Branscome
By: Jeff Branscome
Saturday, September 19, 2009
Those are some big Dinosaurs!
Those are some big Dinosaurs!
September 10th, 2009 (issue date)
Article by: Craig Shulin
Summary: BBC has come out with a tour called 'Walking with Dinosaurs: the live experience"- a show featuring extremely realisitc dinosaurs that reach up to heights of 37 feet tall and 72 feet long! The show is helf at the verizon center in Washington D.C. from september 16th-20th with ticket prices ranging from $19.50 to $49.50. With dinosaurs of that immesnse size, it takes three people to operate just one of them. Previous visitors state that the snesatiton of watching the show is very much realistic, and that it is an exciting thing to see. Besides the giant dinosaurs, there are also 'baby' dinosaurs- operated by extremely strong performers; for each suit weighs about 80 pounds or more.
Critique: I felt the article was written fairly well, the only negative I would have to say about it was that I feel the writer should have written more about what other exhibits were in the show. For me, it felt that even though the article was based around the dinosaurs- seeing as to the article mentioned the show itself, I find that more information about what else the show had to offer would have made the article a little more interesting. However, in the same sense, I feel that the way the author wrote and described the dinosaur exhibit was still interesting as well as somewhat educational.
September 10th, 2009 (issue date)
Article by: Craig Shulin
Summary: BBC has come out with a tour called 'Walking with Dinosaurs: the live experience"- a show featuring extremely realisitc dinosaurs that reach up to heights of 37 feet tall and 72 feet long! The show is helf at the verizon center in Washington D.C. from september 16th-20th with ticket prices ranging from $19.50 to $49.50. With dinosaurs of that immesnse size, it takes three people to operate just one of them. Previous visitors state that the snesatiton of watching the show is very much realistic, and that it is an exciting thing to see. Besides the giant dinosaurs, there are also 'baby' dinosaurs- operated by extremely strong performers; for each suit weighs about 80 pounds or more.
Critique: I felt the article was written fairly well, the only negative I would have to say about it was that I feel the writer should have written more about what other exhibits were in the show. For me, it felt that even though the article was based around the dinosaurs- seeing as to the article mentioned the show itself, I find that more information about what else the show had to offer would have made the article a little more interesting. However, in the same sense, I feel that the way the author wrote and described the dinosaur exhibit was still interesting as well as somewhat educational.
Friday, September 18, 2009
Help with Evitions
Renters get help with Evictions
Summary: The Salvation Army is helping people struggling to pay the rent or who are or have been evicted. Recently, two new laws and the help some stimulus money. People now have 90 days to vacate their home. They must inform the landlord five days in advanced when they are are ready to leave/move. Which this gives them enough time to find a new place to place before they become homeless.It also pays their first months rent at their new place. This have helped over thousands of families stay out off the streets and out of debt.
By Amy Flowers Umble
Summary: The Salvation Army is helping people struggling to pay the rent or who are or have been evicted. Recently, two new laws and the help some stimulus money. People now have 90 days to vacate their home. They must inform the landlord five days in advanced when they are are ready to leave/move. Which this gives them enough time to find a new place to place before they become homeless.It also pays their first months rent at their new place. This have helped over thousands of families stay out off the streets and out of debt.
I think this is a better way to solve evictions, other than just shoving families on the streets. It also keeps people off the streets and out of trouble.
Thursday, September 17, 2009
Murder Trial
Title:Murder trail gets under way for a second time
By:Keith Epps
Published:Sptember 10,2009
Summary: Toronto Epps is being on trial for the second time in Fredricksburg. He is on tiral for killing 21-year-old Jamair Ellis in a parking lot with a .380-caliber handgun. The shots were fired over some woman issues. The woman, Shaunice Weldon used to date Jamair and she had saw him in the parking lot about 1:25 going to a motel with her boyfrined, Toronto. Jamair had talked to Shaunice and Toronto in a car but then shots were fired. There was a witness that saw Toronto fire at Jamair which killed him.When Toronto was called to the stand at the tiral, he had said that he was in Dumfries with his wife watching the movie "Hancock", the time of the shooting. Toronto has denied the statement that he had killed Jamair and the defense attorney had said there was PCP found in Jamair's body.
Commentary: In this article the writer doesn't exactly tell you when the shooting began. They also should have talked more about when the first trial was and why the first trail didn't work. Another thing is that they went off topic and didn't say what happened over the second trial.
By:Keith Epps
Published:Sptember 10,2009
Summary: Toronto Epps is being on trial for the second time in Fredricksburg. He is on tiral for killing 21-year-old Jamair Ellis in a parking lot with a .380-caliber handgun. The shots were fired over some woman issues. The woman, Shaunice Weldon used to date Jamair and she had saw him in the parking lot about 1:25 going to a motel with her boyfrined, Toronto. Jamair had talked to Shaunice and Toronto in a car but then shots were fired. There was a witness that saw Toronto fire at Jamair which killed him.When Toronto was called to the stand at the tiral, he had said that he was in Dumfries with his wife watching the movie "Hancock", the time of the shooting. Toronto has denied the statement that he had killed Jamair and the defense attorney had said there was PCP found in Jamair's body.
Commentary: In this article the writer doesn't exactly tell you when the shooting began. They also should have talked more about when the first trial was and why the first trail didn't work. Another thing is that they went off topic and didn't say what happened over the second trial.
Wiggle Worms
Title: Where Businesses go for a Test Drive
By: Cathy Jett
Date: September 10, 2009
Summary: Wiggle Worms is a program ran by Leslie Fischer and Chrissy Gibbs (my first grade teacher) and how they have signed a year lease to run Wiggle Worms in the Spotsylvania Towne Center. The program wishes to expand once they figure out how successful the program is after about a year.
Commentary: I think the article should have focused more on the Wiggle Worms program because for some reason they branched off and started talking about other people's businesses for like a small segment. If they wanted to talk about something other than the program, they should have made a smoother tradition and wrote more about the other businesses in the area.
By: Cathy Jett
Date: September 10, 2009
Summary: Wiggle Worms is a program ran by Leslie Fischer and Chrissy Gibbs (my first grade teacher) and how they have signed a year lease to run Wiggle Worms in the Spotsylvania Towne Center. The program wishes to expand once they figure out how successful the program is after about a year.
Commentary: I think the article should have focused more on the Wiggle Worms program because for some reason they branched off and started talking about other people's businesses for like a small segment. If they wanted to talk about something other than the program, they should have made a smoother tradition and wrote more about the other businesses in the area.
Time to thin out the 'time-biders'
September 10th, 2009. By Cheryl Hall.
Years ago young people in the job market would just leave the job if they were not happy with it. But now that the economy has declined and people are desperate for work, they are sucking up their dislikes for their job and keeping it. This forms a workforce that is simply biding their time and not interested in their jobs because they are just there. This leads to a decline in imganitive ideas and productivity.
This article has very good diction and includes tantilating words such as "cohort." The use of alot of different abbreviations made it hard to follow sometimes. Overall this was an informative, well written article.
Years ago young people in the job market would just leave the job if they were not happy with it. But now that the economy has declined and people are desperate for work, they are sucking up their dislikes for their job and keeping it. This forms a workforce that is simply biding their time and not interested in their jobs because they are just there. This leads to a decline in imganitive ideas and productivity.
This article has very good diction and includes tantilating words such as "cohort." The use of alot of different abbreviations made it hard to follow sometimes. Overall this was an informative, well written article.
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